Dating a young widow with kids
Like many young widows, Janet was overwhelmed by the sudden loss of her husband and the responsibilities she would have to shoulder alone.
But there are others who are willing to help you support and encourage your kids through this difficult time, and their varied experiences with your loved one will help your kids see a broader, more well-rounded picture of the person he or she was. One completely overlooked aspect is overburden-ness (Is that a word? The widow, immersed in her intense grief, is now running the household—alone.There is so much to do; she is tasked with doing everything formerly done by her husband.I got a notice our electricity was going to be turned off because I hadn’t paid the bill.(Finances were always taken care of by my husband.) There was everything from taking care of the lawn to taking out the trash that I had to do—and I was in a deep depression. Again, list-making is very helpful (See my previous post.) Don’t put too much on the list, about 5 small items. Focus only on what’s on the day’s list, so you don’t feel the overburden-ness…and in all of your grief and depression—you will feel a positive sense of accomplishment.Structure can be a huge source of comfort for kids.
Do what you can to stabilize your routines, including your kids' nightly bedtime routine, so that they'll have a general idea of what to expect from one moment to the next.
Simple consistencies like serving meals at the same time each day can also help to create a stable atmosphere even while your emotions remain turbulent.
You may be tempted to throw yourself and your kids back into your "normal routine," doing things like returning to work and school as soon as possible. However, you'll also want to take things slow and give your kids the freedom to opt out of social obligations or activities when they need some space.
So much of what has already happened has been out of your kids' control, so make sure that you allow them to make their own choices when possible.
This may include simple decisions what they wear and what they do in their spare time, within reason.
Many young widows are overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support, which may show up in the form of more casserole dishes than you and your children can eat.