Disappearing act dating
Though things got serious pretty quickly, they appeared to be on the same page. During - what would be their last conversation - they planned a day trip out of the city together for the next day. After a weekend getaway, they said goodbye to one another at the train station.He sent her a text saying he was on his way to her apartment to pick her up. Brian, 32, had been dating Kayla for a couple of months. They texted each other when they got home and talked about the next time they were to get together.
In a blink, your relationship can go from a promise to a poof.The emotional maturity that comes with giving the person you are dating an ounce of common courtesy is not in their emotional vocabulary or repertoire.Their emotional immaturity trumps the desire to do the right thing and come clean about wanting to move on.Even a simple two line text - which bring some clarity and closure isn't in their radar.Doing the right thing - no matter how uncomfortable - never dawns on them. You constantly check your phone for texts, calls, and emails after reaching out It's torture. If you have made a concerted effort to reach out and heard nothing in response, then just let it go.Eventually, though you discover the pictures and status updates on Facebook or Instagram that yes, he/she is alive and well. You will find quickly by doing this, how much better you will feel - physically, psychologically, emotionally.
Yet, before anger sets in, you initially experience self-doubt and blame. Don't waste your time wondering if he/she is alright. If you start to go down the rabbit hole of negative thinking or thinking about all of the exchanges bear in mind: their behavior speaks volumes about them and very little about you.
But here's the thing: YOU didn't do anything wrong. Just imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with this person and what it would be like to communicate with them - difficult, at best.
Date long enough, and you too, may encounter a 'ghoster' - someone you've bonded with who suddenly disappears in a phantom-like way.
Unfortunately, experiences like Linda's and Brian's are incredibly - and sadly - all too common.
People who just up and disappear have one very important trait in common--they're avoiders.
They avoid confrontation at all costs and equally don't want to deal with their own uncomfortable feelings.